What to give this Valentine’s Day instead of flowers and chocolates
Valentine’s Day is coming up and with it expectations, pressure from aggressive advertising, sub-par, crowded restaurant meals, and the ubiquitous displays of flowers and chocolates (or, if you’re less lucky, your child’s leftover Sweethearts candy proclaiming the message “CRAZY 4U”.) But Valentine’s Day can also be a beautiful opportunity to connect with the ones you love most. Here are my top tips to really connect with your significant other this Valentine’s Day:
Photo Credit: Allison Jagoda
1) Talk about your expectations in advance. Don’t be afraid to let your partner know how you want them to show you love this Valentine’s Day. Nothing kills a mood quicker than unmet expectations. Ask for what you need and want and then compromise and make a plan for how you want to celebrate your love together. I promise it’ll end up better than trying to influence your partner’s ads by talking to Siri on their phone and hoping they’ll give you exactly what you want without asking them.
2) Focus on gratitude and genuine compliments. Start your Valentine’s Day thinking about three things you love about your partner and let them know how awesome you think they are. I promise this will give you the mindset shift you need to get all the lovey-dovey feels going.
3) Plan an activity you genuinely enjoy doing together. If that is eating a Valentine’s Day menu at a crowded restaurant, go for it, but if axe throwing is more your thing then do it! This is about showing love and creating memories because you know each other better than Hallmark does.
4) Figure out your partner’s love language and pick a small but special way to show them love on Valentine’s Day. For example, for acts of service that could look like taking on a hated chore your partner always does.
5) Be curious. Ask your partner an open-ended question today (a question that can’t be answered with “yes” or “no”.) Approach your question from a place of curiosity and be willing to be vulnerable yourself. If this is new for you both, be patient as you start a conversation. Curiosity will allow you to learn new things about each other and deepen your connection.
I don’t think flowers and chocolates are a bad thing. They can be a beautiful gesture, but sometimes they’re used to check a box. I hope these ideas give you permission to think outside the box and celebrate your love in a way that works best for you- because you are the experts of your own beautiful lives!